I'm a Type 2 and 9; The Helper and The Peacemaker.
But let me backtrack. I had no idea what an enneagram even was before a couple of days ago. A 'scientific horoscope' is probably the best way to describe it. After paying about a tenner for an in-depth, 144 question, 2 choice answer test on the official Enneagram Institute website, laying myself bare and contemplating what kind of person I am for 40 minutes straight, I received a 20 page PDF file, explaining what type of person I am, in-depth. My two top traits came back as a Type 2 and a Type 9, which was actually not as surprising as I thought it would be.
However, in terms of how I view myself personally, and how I feel on a daily basis, it seems to be a bit more surprising. My confidence wavers constantly, and evidently I always have other people's interests in mind rather than my own. This probably contributes towards my constant self-doubt, an unjustified realisation that I'm not good enough to reach for the stars, so instead help others like a springboard instead - my aspirations aren't as well-met as the other, more hopeful talents surrounding me.
HELPER:
As per the results of the Enneagram, a conflict of '2s' is that we are listed as being worried, people-pleasing and self-deceptive. This links nicely to my feelings of self-doubt and feelings of inferiority, as well as to putting others before myself.
PEACEMAKER:
Alternatively, as a joint '9', one conflict that stands out to me is that 9s are 'stubborn'. Although I don't like admitting it, I'm extremely stubborn. In arguments, feuds, debates, and even in life, I detest having my opinion changed about things. In terms of the deconstruction of myself and creative process, I see this as a key trait that needs to change. Once I have an idea, I want to stick with it (just like most other designers.) In the same thought process, I have it ingrained in my head that I'm not as talented as everyone else - nothing stands out about me (I'm extremely average - a 50.) This thought is completely irrational, as no-one has ever actually told me to my face -
"You are completely average."
So why do I stick so stubbornly to this notion that I'm not good enough? Well hopefully I'll find out during the process of my deconstruction ... or at least come to terms with it!
Comments